Jade Helm goes out not with a bang but a whimper


When the military exercise codenamed Jade Helm 15 was first announced some citizens of Texas went nuts with conspiracy theories of martial law and the confiscation of guns. They caused such a clamor that the Governor of Texas, Greg Abbott, actually promised these whackjobs that the Texas Guard will watch over the exercise.

Well, guess what kids. Jade Helm has ended and Texas remains free and full of guns. However I’m sure the conspiracy theorists will take credit for keeping Texas free by allegedly exposing the evil government’s plans of rounding up gun owning Texans and holding them against their will in empty Wal-Marts. I’m just thankful that none of these nuts injured or killed a member of our own military.

I guess the tin foil hat crowd will now have to go back to ‘9/11 was an inside job’ until the next ‘false flag’ comes around.

Jade Helm should stay out of Texas but not for conspiracy reasons


I originally posted about military exercise code-named Jade Helm 15 here. The short version is that a crazy vocal minority in Texas think that the exercise is actually some kind of secret government operation to either declare martial law in Texas or to take their guns or both depending on which crackpot you’re talking to. What makes the situation worse is that when Jade Helm was first announced and the tin foil crowd first complained, Texas Governor Greg Abbot actually acquiesced to this vocal minority of morons and promised that the Texas Guard will monitor the exercises.

As the start of Jade Helm grows nearer I’m beginning to think that maybe the Texas part of the exercise should be cancelled. Not because I believe in any conspiracy theory bullshit but I’m afraid it might put the safety of some of our military members at risk.

I’m afraid that some gun nut will see a member of the military somewhere near his land and decide to take matters into his own hands. Even worst I’m afraid that small ‘militia’ groups may already be forming to go out looking for trouble.

Since the Governor of Texas doesn’t have the balls or the brains to tell some of his constituents that they’re crazier than shit house rats then the US military may want to consider keeping their personnel away from the more armed and brain addled area of the exercise.

Trench addresses the Facebook Confederacy of Dunces


I know Facebook isn’t the apex of intelligent political discourse but I was shocked at the amount of people, who I thought were smarter than that, defending the confederate flag. Yes, I know it’s not the official flag of the confederacy, stop being pedantic, and while you’re looking up the definition of pedantic you may want to look up the definition of eponym. So in this year 2015 Anno Domini, or Common Era if you will, let’s take a look of why the traitor’s rag is indefensible. That last part may be a bit of a spoiler.

African Slavery

The Civil War was about slavery. Deal with it. You can take your “War of Northern Aggression” state’s rights bullcrap and stick it up your Stonewall Jackson. The state’s right to own slaves maybe. Slavery was even a cornerstone of the confederate constitution.

Just for grits and giggles let’s say that the war was not about slavery. That still brings us to our next point.


The symbolic start of Civil War was when confederates fired upon the Federal Garrison at Fort Sumter in South Carolina. By modern standards if a governor of any state decided to use his or her state’s resources to violently attack a federal military base would that not be looked upon as the act of a traitor? That was rhetorical question, yes, yes it would.

On the losing side

The last time I checked confederate General Robert E. Lee surrendered to Union General Ulysses S. Grant after the Battle of Appomattox. So by flying that flag you’re celebrating the failure of an inferior army. You may as well fly the white flag of surrender in its stead.

So now that the Civil War is over let’s jump ahead about 100 years into the future, the 1960s to be precise. What did the flag stand for then?


In the 1960s the flag came back into prominence, for lack of a better term, in Southern states as a symbol of their opposition to the equal right’s movement. To put it more succinctly it was a state government sponsored endorsement of racism. So it should come as no surprise that it’s been adopted by…

Hate Groups

klanIf the flag had any redeeming qualities at this point, which it didn’t, it lost any kind of legitimacy when it was widely adopted by hate groups like the Klan. Someone said to me on Facebook today that men carry out these actions but flags don’t. What that person doesn’t realize is that the flag was being used by those cowards as a symbol of fear and intimidation, some may even call it terrorism. This unfortunate jackass at right is what the flag has come to stand for.

However this is the United States, you have the right to fly that flag as much as you want and I support your right to do so. It will be an indicator on which moronic troglodytes I need to avoid.

Texans lose their minds over military exercise Jade Helm 15

Surprised this wasn't done in  Comic Sans

Surprised this wasn’t done in Comic Sans

Almost around this time last year I posted about how not only were the conspiracy nuts taking over but they were now dictating public policy. In that year it’s gotten significantly worse.

The U.S. military is about to undertake something that it’s done since the beginning of when this country had a military, military exercises. Many sections of the military will; take place in a massive exercise that will span from July to September and from California to Texas that is codenamed Jade Helm 15. A lot of people in Texas are collectively losing their shit over Jade Helm 15 saying that either their guns are going to be confiscated, it’s the start of martial law or that they’ll be sent to the ever so popular FEMA prison camps.

This would actually be hilarious if it wasn’t for one thing. The GOVERNOR of Texas, Greg Abbott, has actually bent over for these crackpots by promising that the Texas Guard will monitor the exercises to make sure they’re on the up and up. God forbid a politician should tell these people that they’re crazier than a shithouse rat. At least a former politician did. Todd Euless, a veteran of the Texas Legislature, wrote a letter to the governor that said he is “horrified that I have to choose between the possibility that my Governor actually believes this stuff and the possibility that my Governor doesn’t have the backbone to stand up to those who do.” He also referred to the lunatic fringe as a cancer on the state. Can’t say I disagree with him.

My question is are these partisan conspiracy nuts? Are they only frothing at the mouth because a black Democrat who’s a ‘secret Muslim from Kenya’ in the White House or did they also go bananas about military exercises when Bush of Skull and Bones was in office?

Let’s look at this logically for a minute. I know that’s a lot to ask from some folks but bear with me. Where is the majority of fighting taking place in the world today? In areas with lots of deserts. What’s mostly between California and Texas? A shit ton of desert.

As an aside when I become president I’m going to initiate Aluminum Hat 1 that will round up all the conspiracy theorists and finally put them in FEMA camps. Then they’ll finally get to be happy by telling everyone they were right all along. It’ll be easy to identify them. Just ask them if 9/11 was an inside job.

As I’ve said before when you look for a conspiracy in everything then everything is a conspiracy. Me? I’d rather go about living my life without fearing an imaginary bogeyman.

UPDATE 5/4/2015: For fuck’s sake, Chuck Norris is one of them.

Trench on the NC gay marriage ban


Yesterday Amendment One was passed by the voters of North Carolina. Essentially that means that same-sex marriages are scheduled to be officially banned by the state constitution. Because of that a lot of venom has been spewed at my state calling us inbred hicks, bigots, Bible beaters, etc. Once again being the grim spectre of truth that I am I’m going to tell you how it really is.

First off let me preface this by saying that I wholeheartedly support gay marriage and I’ll tell you why. It’s no secret that I’m an adoptee. I feel very strong about adoption. I would rather see a child adopted by a loving gay couple than end up in either a sketchy foster home or worse, as remains in a medical waste bag.

Now getting back to North Carolina. When the voters of California passed Prop 8 some years ago nobody called them inbred hicks.

Let me tell you some things about our ‘inbred’ state. The city of Charlotte is only 2nd to New York when it comes to financial business. Raleigh is only 2nd to Silicon Valley when it comes to the tech field. We have two of the best higher learning institutions in the country in Duke and UNC. We have an NHL team that has won the Stanley Cup. Not to mention that City of Asheville is probably the 2nd most gay friendly city in the country. And like I always say I saw more instance of bias crime living in New Jersey than I ever have in North Carolina.

What really got the amendment passed was not necessarily hate but logistics and apathy. Think about it for a minute. Do you what else was being voted on yesterday? It was the North Carolina Republican primary. So right there you know that the majority of voters are going to be from a party that have a history of not supporting same-sex rights.

There are a little more than 9 million people in North Carolina. From what I understand only 2 million people voted in yesterday. That’s only 22% of the populace and most of them were Republicans. Trying to get people to pry themselves away from their work and home lives in order to vote in a primary in this day and age would be a miracle. If the amendment was going to be voted on in November it would have had a much different outcome.

You know what they say about forgetting the past right? In California Prop 8 was ruled unconstitutional. So will Amendment One.

Animal rights nut solicits hitman on Facebook

Meredith 'I have no soul' Lowell

Meredith ‘I have no soul’ Lowell

Animal rights activist ‘set up Facebook account to appeal for hit man to kill stranger wearing a fur coat’:

27-year-old Meredith Lowell of Cleveland Heights, Ohio has been charged with allegedly trying to solicit a hitman on Facebook. Not for anyone in particular but any random person that happens to be wearing fur.

Investigators say that Howell set up a Facebook page under the assumed name of Anne Lowery to solicit someone to kill a random stranger that was wearing fur because Lowell is an animal rights ‘activist’. I believe this makes her an animal rights terrorist but I digress.

Allegedly she wanted the random stranger killed so she could then distribute fliers about the ‘evils’ of wearing fur and eating meat at the scene of the murder. She is said to have asked the hitman to kill someone 14 or older but a 12-year-old would do in a pinch.

Since you’re reading this here you can guess that the hitman that contacted her was an FBI agent.

Lowell allegedly claimed she wanted to be arrested at the site of the impending murder in part so she could get out of her parents house where her family eats meat and wear leather, fur and wool. That’s right kids, 27 and living at home. No word on if she occupied the basement.

What I want to know is why do the more stupid among us seem to think that there is a cadre of hitmen that roll Facebook looking for gigs?

Let us also not forget there is no such thing as anonymity on the internet. As soon as you post something illegal like this on any website law enforcement will be able to find you.

Trench pisses on your UC Davis outrage

They're lucky this is all they got

They’re lucky this is all they got

As usual when the hysterical masses are outraged about something it usually turns out that they only have half the story. Now the other half is finally coming out about the pepper spraying incident at UC Davis.

Please check out the following video which shows what really happened at UC Davis.

For those of you with ADD I’ll summarize.

The UC Davis police arrested some Occupy protesters for not dispersing when asked. Again you have the right to peaceably assemble just not on property that’s owned by someone else, in this case the state of California. A throng of protesters then surround police refusing to allow the police to leave. In essence that is holding the police hostage. The protesters were repeatedly asked to move and when they did not they were pepper sprayed.

For those of you who did watch the video you may say *annoying hippy voice here* “But Trench at the 12 minute mark of the video the police had their guns drawn and we’re going to shoot the peaceful protesters.” To you I say get some knowledge. Any 13-year-old could tell you that those guns were paintball guns. Police use them to fire pepper spray projectiles which at the worst can cause a welt.

If you really think about it the police showed tremendous restraint here. One wrong move by the protesters and this could have easily turned into a bloodbath.

So the bottom line is they were not peaceful protesters as some would have you think. They were hostage takers and those hostages were the very police whose duty it is to protect us. They also have a duty to protect themselves.

I’m sure this will most fall on deaf ears, or blind eyes as the case may be, due to partisan hackery and people with ‘fuck the police’ mindsets. That’s your loss for not wanting to admit the truth.

Thanks to Rob Taylor for sharing the video with me.

Why the country is no longer unified


With the 10th anniversary of 9/11 coming up tomorrow a friend of mine on Twitter asked why the country is no longer in unity like we were in the days after 9/11. I think I have the answer.

When 9/11 happened it felt like we were all attacked. I’m speaking figuratively of course but that’s how we felt. Then in the days, weeks and months after the attack basic human selfishness took over. Too many people had their own agenda that superseded any notions of patriotism or brotherhood. I’m not just talking about politicians but mostly everyday folk like you and me.

Once people started setting their own personal agendas in place unity gave way to ego. Due to 9/11 there have been increases in conspiracy theorists, anti-islamists, xenophobes, radical leftists and plain old ignorance which gave rise to fanaticism in all of these areas.

In a time of crisis we inevitably come together as a country but once that crisis has passed we inevitably return to our own selfish beliefs that should not be greater than country.

Missouri teachers protest new Facebook law


Law limiting teacher-student online contact draws ire:

Recently the state of Missouri has enacted a set of laws to prevent teachers from entering into appropriate relationships with their students. One of those laws is that teachers could not privately communicate with students through Facebook or other social networking sites. Of course this has teachers outraged. Even the ACLU is getting involved.

Teachers say that this punishes all teachers for the sins of the criminal ones. You’ll have to forgive me for possibly being old-fashioned but I wouldn’t want a teacher contacting one of my children outside of school wherein the contact circumvents the parent.

If kids have a question about their school work where they need to contact their teacher outside of school it should be done through a school monitored website and not something like Facebook where a parent may not have any control.