Texans lose their minds over military exercise Jade Helm 15

Surprised this wasn't done in  Comic Sans

Surprised this wasn’t done in Comic Sans

Almost around this time last year I posted about how not only were the conspiracy nuts taking over but they were now dictating public policy. In that year it’s gotten significantly worse.

The U.S. military is about to undertake something that it’s done since the beginning of when this country had a military, military exercises. Many sections of the military will; take place in a massive exercise that will span from July to September and from California to Texas that is codenamed Jade Helm 15. A lot of people in Texas are collectively losing their shit over Jade Helm 15 saying that either their guns are going to be confiscated, it’s the start of martial law or that they’ll be sent to the ever so popular FEMA prison camps.

This would actually be hilarious if it wasn’t for one thing. The GOVERNOR of Texas, Greg Abbott, has actually bent over for these crackpots by promising that the Texas Guard will monitor the exercises to make sure they’re on the up and up. God forbid a politician should tell these people that they’re crazier than a shithouse rat. At least a former politician did. Todd Euless, a veteran of the Texas Legislature, wrote a letter to the governor that said he is “horrified that I have to choose between the possibility that my Governor actually believes this stuff and the possibility that my Governor doesn’t have the backbone to stand up to those who do.” He also referred to the lunatic fringe as a cancer on the state. Can’t say I disagree with him.

My question is are these partisan conspiracy nuts? Are they only frothing at the mouth because a black Democrat who’s a ‘secret Muslim from Kenya’ in the White House or did they also go bananas about military exercises when Bush of Skull and Bones was in office?

Let’s look at this logically for a minute. I know that’s a lot to ask from some folks but bear with me. Where is the majority of fighting taking place in the world today? In areas with lots of deserts. What’s mostly between California and Texas? A shit ton of desert.

As an aside when I become president I’m going to initiate Aluminum Hat 1 that will round up all the conspiracy theorists and finally put them in FEMA camps. Then they’ll finally get to be happy by telling everyone they were right all along. It’ll be easy to identify them. Just ask them if 9/11 was an inside job.

As I’ve said before when you look for a conspiracy in everything then everything is a conspiracy. Me? I’d rather go about living my life without fearing an imaginary bogeyman.

UPDATE 5/4/2015: For fuck’s sake, Chuck Norris is one of them.

Further proof that even in death only one man rules the world







All hail his name. \m/

All hail his name. \m/

Trench on the NC gay marriage ban


Yesterday Amendment One was passed by the voters of North Carolina. Essentially that means that same-sex marriages are scheduled to be officially banned by the state constitution. Because of that a lot of venom has been spewed at my state calling us inbred hicks, bigots, Bible beaters, etc. Once again being the grim spectre of truth that I am I’m going to tell you how it really is.

First off let me preface this by saying that I wholeheartedly support gay marriage and I’ll tell you why. It’s no secret that I’m an adoptee. I feel very strong about adoption. I would rather see a child adopted by a loving gay couple than end up in either a sketchy foster home or worse, as remains in a medical waste bag.

Now getting back to North Carolina. When the voters of California passed Prop 8 some years ago nobody called them inbred hicks.

Let me tell you some things about our ‘inbred’ state. The city of Charlotte is only 2nd to New York when it comes to financial business. Raleigh is only 2nd to Silicon Valley when it comes to the tech field. We have two of the best higher learning institutions in the country in Duke and UNC. We have an NHL team that has won the Stanley Cup. Not to mention that City of Asheville is probably the 2nd most gay friendly city in the country. And like I always say I saw more instance of bias crime living in New Jersey than I ever have in North Carolina.

What really got the amendment passed was not necessarily hate but logistics and apathy. Think about it for a minute. Do you what else was being voted on yesterday? It was the North Carolina Republican primary. So right there you know that the majority of voters are going to be from a party that have a history of not supporting same-sex rights.

There are a little more than 9 million people in North Carolina. From what I understand only 2 million people voted in yesterday. That’s only 22% of the populace and most of them were Republicans. Trying to get people to pry themselves away from their work and home lives in order to vote in a primary in this day and age would be a miracle. If the amendment was going to be voted on in November it would have had a much different outcome.

You know what they say about forgetting the past right? In California Prop 8 was ruled unconstitutional. So will Amendment One.

Animal rights nut solicits hitman on Facebook

Meredith 'I have no soul' Lowell

Meredith ‘I have no soul’ Lowell

Animal rights activist ‘set up Facebook account to appeal for hit man to kill stranger wearing a fur coat':

27-year-old Meredith Lowell of Cleveland Heights, Ohio has been charged with allegedly trying to solicit a hitman on Facebook. Not for anyone in particular but any random person that happens to be wearing fur.

Investigators say that Howell set up a Facebook page under the assumed name of Anne Lowery to solicit someone to kill a random stranger that was wearing fur because Lowell is an animal rights ‘activist’. I believe this makes her an animal rights terrorist but I digress.

Allegedly she wanted the random stranger killed so she could then distribute fliers about the ‘evils’ of wearing fur and eating meat at the scene of the murder. She is said to have asked the hitman to kill someone 14 or older but a 12-year-old would do in a pinch.

Since you’re reading this here you can guess that the hitman that contacted her was an FBI agent.

Lowell allegedly claimed she wanted to be arrested at the site of the impending murder in part so she could get out of her parents house where her family eats meat and wear leather, fur and wool. That’s right kids, 27 and living at home. No word on if she occupied the basement.

What I want to know is why do the more stupid among us seem to think that there is a cadre of hitmen that roll Facebook looking for gigs?

Let us also not forget there is no such thing as anonymity on the internet. As soon as you post something illegal like this on any website law enforcement will be able to find you.

Trench pisses on your UC Davis outrage

They're lucky this is all they got

They’re lucky this is all they got

As usual when the hysterical masses are outraged about something it usually turns out that they only have half the story. Now the other half is finally coming out about the pepper spraying incident at UC Davis.

Please check out the following video which shows what really happened at UC Davis.

For those of you with ADD I’ll summarize.

The UC Davis police arrested some Occupy protesters for not dispersing when asked. Again you have the right to peaceably assemble just not on property that’s owned by someone else, in this case the state of California. A throng of protesters then surround police refusing to allow the police to leave. In essence that is holding the police hostage. The protesters were repeatedly asked to move and when they did not they were pepper sprayed.

For those of you who did watch the video you may say *annoying hippy voice here* “But Trench at the 12 minute mark of the video the police had their guns drawn and we’re going to shoot the peaceful protesters.” To you I say get some knowledge. Any 13-year-old could tell you that those guns were paintball guns. Police use them to fire pepper spray projectiles which at the worst can cause a welt.

If you really think about it the police showed tremendous restraint here. One wrong move by the protesters and this could have easily turned into a bloodbath.

So the bottom line is they were not peaceful protesters as some would have you think. They were hostage takers and those hostages were the very police whose duty it is to protect us. They also have a duty to protect themselves.

I’m sure this will most fall on deaf ears, or blind eyes as the case may be, due to partisan hackery and people with ‘fuck the police’ mindsets. That’s your loss for not wanting to admit the truth.

Thanks to Rob Taylor for sharing the video with me.

Why the country is no longer unified


With the 10th anniversary of 9/11 coming up tomorrow a friend of mine on Twitter asked why the country is no longer in unity like we were in the days after 9/11. I think I have the answer.

When 9/11 happened it felt like we were all attacked. I’m speaking figuratively of course but that’s how we felt. Then in the days, weeks and months after the attack basic human selfishness took over. Too many people had their own agenda that superseded any notions of patriotism or brotherhood. I’m not just talking about politicians but mostly everyday folk like you and me.

Once people started setting their own personal agendas in place unity gave way to ego. Due to 9/11 there have been increases in conspiracy theorists, anti-islamists, xenophobes, radical leftists and plain old ignorance which gave rise to fanaticism in all of these areas.

In a time of crisis we inevitably come together as a country but once that crisis has passed we inevitably return to our own selfish beliefs that should not be greater than country.

Missouri teachers protest new Facebook law


Law limiting teacher-student online contact draws ire:

Recently the state of Missouri has enacted a set of laws to prevent teachers from entering into appropriate relationships with their students. One of those laws is that teachers could not privately communicate with students through Facebook or other social networking sites. Of course this has teachers outraged. Even the ACLU is getting involved.

Teachers say that this punishes all teachers for the sins of the criminal ones. You’ll have to forgive me for possibly being old-fashioned but I wouldn’t want a teacher contacting one of my children outside of school wherein the contact circumvents the parent.

If kids have a question about their school work where they need to contact their teacher outside of school it should be done through a school monitored website and not something like Facebook where a parent may not have any control.

What is your opinion on Ron Paul? I know you think many of his followers are lunatics, but I just wondered what your opinion was on the stances he took.


I admire Ron Paul. He is a man of character and it’s sad to see that the Tea Party movement, which he basically started, has been hijacked by a bunch of idiots.

What breaks the deal for me with Ron Paul is his stances on legalizing drugs and especially legalizing prostitution.

Legalizing drugs would cause an immense strain on our already taxed healthcare system and legalizing prostitution would in no way solve any of the other crimes, such as human trafficking, associated with it.

Thank you for your question.

Ask me anything

Steven Weber perpetuates the myth

Steven Weber

Steven Weber

Weiners and Losers:

You remember Steven Weber don’t you? He played the screw up brother on the TV show “Wings” and was in the horrible made for TV remake of “The Shining”. Basically on the relevance scale he ranks somewhere between Gallagher and Emilio Esteves.

Since the Huffington Post will allow any ‘celebrity’ to rant there Weber takes the media to task for descending on disgraced US Rep. Anthony Weiner like a pack of rabid badgers. In his admonishing of the media Weber uses a falsehood to try to get his point across…

The fact that Weiner was one of the left’s most effective warrior’s against the legitimately vile purveyors of rightwing horseshit is now seemingly forever lost in the bloodlust that defines our cultural landscape; the prevailing analyses have more in common with base schoolyard taunts that bred a Dylan Klebold than with straight journalism.

I find two things wrong with Mr. Weber’s admonishment is that not only does he falsely assume that bullying caused Columbine but I have to ask where Mr. Weber’s criticism of the media was when right-wing politicians like Mark Sanford and Larry Craig were being raked across the media coals? I wouldn’t doubt that Mr. Weber was relishing in that but now that it’s one of his guys he thinks the media needs to lay off.

Please critique the media Mr. Weber as they often deserve it but at least be non-partisan about it and please do better research on Columbine before making the same mistakes that the media you’re criticizing makes.

Gaddafi accused of rape war crimes


It seems that Libya dictator Muammar Gaddafi has been accused by the International Criminal Court of ordering his troops to rape hundreds of women in response to those who are protesting for freedom in Libya.

I remember about 8 years ago where another Middle Eastern dictator was ordering his troops to rape his own citizens but barely anyone in the international community was willing to do anything about him.

So I ask again, what has changed?

Thanks to @USCrime for the tip.