Texans lose their minds over military exercise Jade Helm 15

Surprised this wasn't done in  Comic Sans

Surprised this wasn’t done in Comic Sans

Almost around this time last year I posted about how not only were the conspiracy nuts taking over but they were now dictating public policy. In that year it’s gotten significantly worse.

The U.S. military is about to undertake something that it’s done since the beginning of when this country had a military, military exercises. Many sections of the military will; take place in a massive exercise that will span from July to September and from California to Texas that is codenamed Jade Helm 15. A lot of people in Texas are collectively losing their shit over Jade Helm 15 saying that either their guns are going to be confiscated, it’s the start of martial law or that they’ll be sent to the ever so popular FEMA prison camps.

This would actually be hilarious if it wasn’t for one thing. The GOVERNOR of Texas, Greg Abbott, has actually bent over for these crackpots by promising that the Texas Guard will monitor the exercises to make sure they’re on the up and up. God forbid a politician should tell these people that they’re crazier than a shithouse rat. At least a former politician did. Todd Euless, a veteran of the Texas Legislature, wrote a letter to the governor that said he is “horrified that I have to choose between the possibility that my Governor actually believes this stuff and the possibility that my Governor doesn’t have the backbone to stand up to those who do.” He also referred to the lunatic fringe as a cancer on the state. Can’t say I disagree with him.

My question is are these partisan conspiracy nuts? Are they only frothing at the mouth because a black Democrat who’s a ‘secret Muslim from Kenya’ in the White House or did they also go bananas about military exercises when Bush of Skull and Bones was in office?

Let’s look at this logically for a minute. I know that’s a lot to ask from some folks but bear with me. Where is the majority of fighting taking place in the world today? In areas with lots of deserts. What’s mostly between California and Texas? A shit ton of desert.

As an aside when I become president I’m going to initiate Aluminum Hat 1 that will round up all the conspiracy theorists and finally put them in FEMA camps. Then they’ll finally get to be happy by telling everyone they were right all along. It’ll be easy to identify them. Just ask them if 9/11 was an inside job.

As I’ve said before when you look for a conspiracy in everything then everything is a conspiracy. Me? I’d rather go about living my life without fearing an imaginary bogeyman.

UPDATE 5/4/2015: For fuck’s sake, Chuck Norris is one of them.

Craigslist killing in Houston

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This past Thursday night 28-year-old Saul Cifuentes was shot and killed by someone posing as a craigslist seller in Houston, Texas. The victim thought he was meeting someone in order to buy a video game console, instead it turned into a robbery gone wrong. As of yet no suspect has been arrested.

Anyone with information in this case is urged to contact the HPD Homicide Division at 713-308-3600 or Crime Stoppers at 713-222-TIPS.

As I’ve said before since craigslist has such a low-level of entry (free) anyone can place an ad. Not to mention that craigslist users have this notion of anonymity it makes it a haven for all sorts of criminal activity. It’s not worth whatever great deal you think you’re getting.

My thoughts and prayers go out to the friends and family of the victim.

Bad boyfriend beats baby buries body under bridge

Joshua Markus Beard

Joshua Markus Beard

I’ve been trying to keep the language on the site cleaner than in the past but damn that’s one Frankenstein looking motherfucker. That’s 20-year-old Joshua Markus Beard of Arlington, Texas. He’s been charged in the brutal beating death of his girlfriend’s 19-month-old daughter, Tylea Moore. Beard not only allegedly struck the child and threw her on the bed so hard that she bounced out to the floor but he also stomped on her stomach so hard that the baby was vomiting green fluid. Eventually Tylea succumbed to her injuries at the hands of Markus. Rather than calling police Marks and the girl’s mother, 17-year-old Alexis Botello, allegedly buried Tylea under a bridge. They were caught not only after Beard’s aunt reported the child missing but also after the pair were identified on Wal-Mart security cam footage of them buying shovels and gloves.

I know it’s everyone’s first instinct to attack the mother in a case like this but I ask that you sheath your pitchforks for now. She has been arrested and has been charged with tampering with evidence. What we don’t know is if this was a domestic abuse issue or not. I mean if he was willing to violently kill her child like that what would he be willing to do to her. For all we know there could have been domestic violence that had never been reported. We all know that not every incident of domestic violence gets reported to police unfortunately.

Again though, I feel the need to address future or possible abusers like this. The best way to make sure that police catch you and send you to jail is to kill a child. You will not get away with it. You are not smarter than the police. They will use every method at their disposal to catch you and put you away for a long time. And God forbid you do something like that in a state like Texas where they execute more killers than most countries. Beard has been charged with capital murder so it’s a real possibility for him. So think about that before you raise your hand like that to a child you cowards.

If you’re a victim of domestic violence you can go to The National Domestic Violence Hotline website or call them at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

Thanks to Jennifer for the tip and CW for the assist.

Austin craigslist creeper offered free room and board to teen for “adult video work”

Joshua Rube

Joshua Rube

Due to all the breaking stories lately I’ve had to put the craigslist creepers and other predators on the back burner so I’m going to try to get these stories out as quick as possible today.

Anyway, 31-year-old Joshua Rube of Austin, Texas, has been charged with allegedly sexually assaulting a 16-year-old girl that he met through craigslist. Police say that Rube placed an ad promising free room and board for someone who’d be willing to do “adult video work.”

A 16-year-old girl responded to the ad and is even said to have told Rube her real age. Sadly this was not an undercover detective but an actual girl who Rube allegedly had sexual contact with. The girl’s mother discovered the e-mails between Rube and the victim.

Since when is 16-years-old considered ‘adult’? This also shows that kids are on craigslist despite what the creeper defenders say.

UPDATE 4/15/2015: Back in February, Rube was sentenced to 15 years behind bars.

Dallas Backpage pimp lured teen through Mocospace

Dallas man accused of luring teen to run away via social media, prostitute:

Man accused of selling 13-year-old runaway for sex for three months:

Ladarin Franklin

Ladarin Franklin

If this was an SAT test it would be one of those sentences like Mocospace is to Texas like Pennsylvania is to MeetMe. The Lone Star State’s fascination with the social site/mobile gaming app continues.

32-year-old Ladarin Franklin, aka Bloodshot, of Dallas is accused of allegedly luring a 13-year-old girl into prostitution after meeting the girl on Mocospace. Franklin is accused of convincing the girl to leave home and turning her out for 3 months. Where did he turn the girl out? Why Backpage of course. Another criminal mastermind who got past Backpage’s defenses, or just some guy with a pre-paid credit card probably.

I can’t stress this enough to parents, know what apps are on your kids’ phones and know who everyone is on theor friends list.

As for Backpage the young girl who was forced to be raped by strangers for money is just another exercise in their free speech if you ask them.

California Kik Kreeper extorted pre-teens for pictures

Man uses threats to get young girls to send him nude pictures:

‘Sextortion’ suspect set for freedom:

Child porn, exploitation suspect ordered to home incarceration:

kik

25-year-old Brian Caputo of Arvin, California is a Grade-A scumbag, allegedly. He’s accused of posing as a young girl on Facebook, Yahoo Messenger, and Kik as a young girl in order to gain the trust of other young girls on these platforms. He would use aliases like Giavanna Derann, Catness Love and Melissa Harpson to convince girls from ages eight to 13 to send him nude photos.

Let’s stop right there for a second. While I’m sure the parents of the victims are horrified over what has transpired no eight-year-old needs to be on any of these services. Not even under the supervision of a parent. Secondly is this a thing that teen or teen girls send naked pics to each other? It sure as hell wasn’t in my day by cracky.

Once Caputo would receive any of these pictures then he would blackmail his victims into sending him more pictures or he would make the pictures he already has public. He tried blackmailing a 12-year-old girl from El Paso, Texas, into sending him pics and if she didn’t he would release the pictures of her 11-year-old friend. Instead the girl went to her parents who in turn went to police.

Caputo is not only accused of possessing child porn but trading the pictures he received as well. When questioned by police Caputo tried claiming that whoever was doing it was stealing his wi-fi.

So you think a predatory scumbag like Caputo would be kept under the jail while awaiting trial. Nope. He’s currently under house arrest at his mommy’s house where his underage sister was forced to move out. Does anybody want to lay odds he gets in trouble again before going to trial?

This assclown intrigues me so I’ll be keeping a close eye on this story.

UPDATE 3/13/2014: The courts have come to their sense and have revoked Caputo’s house arrest. He’s now being held without bond.

Bad girlfriend stages fake rape and claims amnesia in toddler’s murder

Father’s girlfriend charged in Plano toddler’s death:

Melinda Lynn Muniz

Melinda Lynn Muniz

This story is so fucking bizarre I have no clue on how to describe it but I’m going to try.

First to set the stage so to speak 25-year-old Melinda Lynn Muniz of Plano, Texas has been arrested for the murder of 2-year-old Grace Lillian Ford. Muniz was engaged to Grace’s father and was caring for Grace during the day. Grace’s father and Muniz were in the process of breaking up.

Apparently Muniz didn’t take the news to well as she allegedly went to a dollar store and bought duct tape and cable ties while Grace was with her. Later that day Muniz called Grace’s father to make it sound like something had happened at their home. The father then called police who found Muniz on the floor bound, gagged, and partially disrobed. They found Grace in her bedroom in a similar state but also not breathing. Grace was on life support for three days after finally succumbing to the trauma of suffocation.

Muniz told a tale of an intruder all in black who sexually assaulted her as she was losing consciousness. Muniz told police several conflicting details with some really bad acting.

“Muniz sat up at one point and fell to the floor as if she had fainted; however, [an officer] noted that Muniz’s eyelids were moving and it appeared to her that Muniz was forcing her eyes closed,” according to the affidavit.

Not only that but while Grace was in the hospital dying Muniz checked into the ER at the same hospital saying she didn’t remember the last year of her life.

Police did investigate her story but they pretty much knew who the real killer was.

Is it me or does her plan sound straight out of a bad soap opera? Who in the hell actually gets amnesia outside of soap operas, video games and Gilligan’s Island? I’m surprised she didn’t try to say that it was her evil twin on the surveillance video at the dollar store. This would almost be comical if a 2-year-old girl didn’t die in one of the most horrible ways possible.

And again we have some random idiot who thinks that she can outsmart the police, forensic investigators and trained medical personnel. You can’t. You’re not that smart. You’re one person against an army. All it takes is for one of them to see through your bullshit. You couldn’t get that weak shit past a third-grader even if you told them you were Dora The Explorer.

Since this is Texas I hope they put her in the express checkout lane. Or in true soap opera fashion maybe they should have her fall off a cliff or something.

Thanks to Amanda for the tip.

Will wonders never cease: Texas man confesses on the stand

Capital Murder Confession:

txlethal

Please check out the fascinating article by journalist Alex Wukman that I posted the link to above.

Do you know how I’m always saying just once I wish one of these murderous troglodytes would actually admit to their crimes? You know, like the ones who shoot several people in front of witnesses then please not guilty? Well it seems one man on trial for capital murder did just that.

Darrell Wayne Parker was facing a possible death sentence, in Texas no less, for the shooting deaths of his mother and stepfather, Cathy Youngblood and Charles Youngblood. Parker seemed to be the type who couldn’t keep his nose clean and ended up having to live with his folks. He got into it with his stepfather when Parker didn’t do some chores that Mr. Youngblood asked him to so Parker gunned down Mr. Youngblood and his own mother who just happened to have breast cancer.

Parker pleaded not guilty but while testifying admitted to the crime.

“We all agree you are guilty of capital murder,” Nelson Barnes, prosecuting attorney, had asked Parker. A “yes, sir” then stumbled out of Parker’s mouth.

I would have paid good money to see the virtual aneurysm his defense attorney had. Subsequently Parker was sentenced to life without parole.

Not surprisingly there are plans to appeal but those plans seem to come from his attorney and not Parker himself at least that’s how it’s being portrayed in the press.

As usual I’m not doing the article justice so I urge you to go read it in its entirety.

Our first Instagram creeper

Police: Laredo man sent sexually explicit video to El Paso teen:

Alejandro Xavier Marquez

Alejandro Xavier Marquez

I must be getting slow in my increasing age because I never thought of photo sharing and sepia-toned app Instagram as a tool that sexual predators would use to scout victims. Then again it makes sense the more I think about it. Kids are obsessed with their cell phones and its camera and are constantly over-sharing personal information on the internet so this should be no surprise.

On that note I induct our very first Instagram creeper today and he is 23-year-old Alejandro Xavier Marquez of Laredo, Texas. He’s accused of meeting a 14-year-old El Paso girl on Instagram and sending her a video of a man punching the clown through Kik. No word on if it was his clown. Still you can’t send stuff like that to underage girls.

Kik I don’t have so much of a problem with because you have to know someone’s Kik ID to message them. However, parents need to be aware if their kids have Kik on their phone and who their Kik friends are. Also now may be a good time to educate your kids about sharing too much on Instagram as well. Unless you want to be like this girl’s mother who found the clown punching video. No one wants to see that.

San Antonio Facebook predator gets slap on the wrist

Alleged Facebook predator takes child injury plea:

Facebook predator takes plea deal for 10 years probation:

Jeremy Andrew Martinez

Jeremy Andrew Martinez

In 2012 22-year-old Jeremy Andrew Martinez of San Antonio, Texas was arrested and charged with aggravated sexual assault of a child. It seems that he allegedly lured a 13-year-old girl to his hotel room after finding her cell number on Facebook. He then ‘had sex’ (And what do we call that? That’s right, child rape) with the 13-year-old after she said no.

Late this past July Martinez pleaded no contest to the charges and received 10 years. I’m sorry I mean he pleaded no contest to the lesser charge of injury to a child and was sentenced to 10 years of probation. That’ll show him. I’m surprised his lawyer isn’t appealing calling the sentence cruel and unusual. What I really want to know is was Martinez’s lawyer that good or was the prosecution that bad?