1/26/04: From the Mail Sack.

I know. I know. It’s Monday and I haven’t gotten to the mail yet. Well, your hero was stranded in an undisclosed location due to the winter storm here in the Carolinas. We’re expecting some freezing rain so I may be absent again. So to make up for lost time here’s the mail.

Can a week go by where I don’t get a comment or e-mail about Columbine? Very rarely. This one is from my entry about the Eric Harris worship site.

I think that you people aren’t looking at why people look at the boys are heros,alot of kids MILLIONS of kids are torcherd in school for being different,and no one not even a teacher does a damn thing. In school there was a girl who beat me up and consantly picked on me to no end. She sits in jail now because she murdered a women with her car repeatedly running her over. Or the girl who lied and said i called her a nigger so she could get away with busting my nose in class while I got suspended for something I would never say. Yu all seem like the type of people who tormented me and my friends in school,I ended up graduating a year and a half yearly to get away from those people.Out in the real world,I am considered a creative and artistic prodigy,who are you to judge what you don’t understand?

you wanna bitch at me or tell me you think I am wrong with valide points (not oh you are a dmubass) email me

Posted by: althea_farmer at January 18, 2004 07:22 PM

Obvious spelling errors aside let me tell you something, Miss Farmer. I and many of my readers were harassed and tortured in school. BUT WE DIDN’T SHOOT UP A SCHOOL. I’m sorry you had such a rough time of it in school but again it’s no reason to kill 13 people. Those two little mutants were not heroes. They were cowards for hiding behind a gun. And let me just say to all the kids in school right now who are thinking about some kind of school violence. It’s not worth it. High school is just a blip on the timeline of your existence. Once you graduate you’ll never have to deal with those people ever again. I hated high school. But once I got out I got over it. And I haven’t seen anyone from there in over 10 years.

This was from my entry about the Mepham football players being sentenced.

I’m a teacher at Mepham and I stumbled onto your website. Do you really believe that if those boys were sentenced to an adult facility they would have been rehabilitated? As americans, we have to trust in our system and judicial system, and believe that they know what is right.

Posted by: rather not say at January 19, 2004 09:57 AM

See. This is what’s wrong with our public school system in America. Screwed up priorities. It isn’t about rehabilitating the offenders. It’s about punishing them. By all definitions, they raped these kids. I guess since they were the star athletes that it’s ok. If you really are a teacher at Mepham you should hand in your resignation. If you were teaching my kids I’d have them pulled out of your school.

This one was from my entry from when Bowling for Columbine was released.

hey u fuckers are dumb this shit u type on here is all bullshit get a girl friend and stop waisting your time looking up porn on the net and get a life

Posted by: Jason at January 19, 2004 03:47 PM

Um…I don’t know what that has to do with the movie unless this guy is a Michael Moore fan. That would explain a lot.

R.I.P. Bob Keeshan

Captain Kangaroo Dies at 76:

Before you go any further neither Bob Keeshan nor Mr. Green Jeans are the fathers of Alice Cooper, Frank Zappa, Ted Nugent, or Marilyn Manson. Nor was Captain Kangaroo at Iwo Jima with Lee Marvin. Urban legends. If you believed any of them please hand in your license to breathe.

Anyway, I only have vague recollections of Captain Kangaroo because in my area growing up he was on during the time I would be in school. I do remember the ping-pong balls and Mr. Moose and Bunny Rabbit. Loved the ping-pong balls and Mr. Moose but Bunny Rabbit creeped me out. The glasses made him look like a killer. Lee Harvey Bunny. Anyway, when I did get to see Captain Kangaroo it was a special occasion.

First Jim Henson, then Mr. Rogers, now Captain Kangaroo. The cherished memories of my childhood are dying. Rest in peace, Mr. Keeshan. You will be missed.

Professional Juries

I was watching Law & Order tonight. I know it’s an overly dramatized show but it made me think of something. In a trial, whether it be civil or criminal, the fate of the defendant rests in the hands of 12 ordinary people yanked off the street. In most cases, these people have little to no knowledge of the law. We ask 12 people who more than likely would rather not be there to interpret the complexities of the law in rendering their decisions. I think this is woefully inadequate. I doubt you could pull 12 people off the street and have them locate Canada on a map let alone understand the law. My solution to this as you’ve probably guessed is professional juries. People that have backgrounds in law that are paid to be juries. They would be made up of attorneys from different specialties. Prosecutors, public defenders, family lawyers, etc. Not only do I think it would speed up the judicial process but I think some of the more idiotic verdicts of our time would have had different outcomes. Maybe OJ would have actually been found guilty. Maybe that woman would not have been awarded a gazillion dollars for spilling hot coffee into her lap. But like most theories mine would only work in a perfect world. In reality, I’m sure there would be deals made between lawyers on the case and lawyers in the jury. But it’s something to think about.

Mepham Sentencing

JUDGE SLAMS MEPHAM HAZERS:

The 3 football players from Mepham High in Long Island were sentenced today for sodomizing younger teammates in a hazing attack with broomsticks, golf balls, and pine cones. One was sent to a boot camp, the other to a juvenile detention facility, and the third got probation after providing prosecutors with information. On the one hand the punishment sort of fits the crime because in boot camp and juvenile hall they’ll be able to find out what its like to be intimidated by someone bigger than you or in a position of authority over you. On the other hand, the punishment isn’t enough. For all intents and purposes, they raped their younger teammates. Poetic justice would have been trying them as adults and putting them in a real prison where they can have a whole array of objects rectally inserted into them. These rapists will get out eventually. The victims have to live with this their entire lives. Hopefully, they’re in facilities like the one in the movie Sleepers.

Panthers vs. Eagles.

I’m torn over this weekends game between the Eagles and the Panthers. On one hand, my dad was a huge Eagles fan and he died without seeing them win a Super Bowl. On the other hand, I live in Charlotte now and it would be great to see the hometown team go far. But lately, in the local media of Philly and Charlotte, there’s been a lot of trash talking about which city is better. It started with this column in the Philadelphia Daily News. The Charlotte Observer fired back with this column.

As someone who has lived in both cities let me tell you that Philly sucks ass. Now I don’t mean the outlying areas like Media, PA and the like. Those places are fine and are great places to live. But given the choice between Philly and Charlotte, I’ll take Charlotte any day. Philly is a dirty city. It’s garnered the nickname Philthadelphia. The neighborhood I lived in while I Was in Philly I referred to it as a vertical trailer park. Growing up as a kid it was a decent middle-class neighborhood that my mom’s family came from. Over time it degenerated into a white trash hell. Nobody had a job. They all just hung out on their steps and sometimes mine. All they did was play the lottery. They let their kids run the streets at all hours of the night. On Halloween they let their kids go trick or treating in bars which is almost a necessity considering there is a bar at every corner.

When I moved to Charlotte I was amazed by how friendly everyone was. The whole stereotype of the racist south is untrue. If you want to see racism walk down the street with a black woman in my old neighborhood in Philly. You’ll see some racism then. The first day I moved down here I was at a gas station and I dropped a $5 bill. A complete stranger picked it up and gave it back to me. In Philly, a stranger would have picked it up and tried to get 5 more. In Philly, you don’t park in front of your own house. You park wherever there is space and there’s usually not much. If you don’t get home from work until 7 PM, forget it, you’re screwed. You have to park 3 blocks away if you’re lucky.

The only thing I miss about Philly is the food. No cheesesteaks, Tastykakes, or scrapple. But barbecue, Krispy Kremes, and country ham do help to soften the blow.