The Trench Reynolds Report

All Crime Is Personal

I received an e-mail today from one of my usual mutants. For those of you new to the party there are two breeds of mutant. Today we’re going to deal with the most predominant form of mutant, the school shooter-worshipping mutant. This particular mutant by the name of Edgar has a problem with the way I run things around here. He’s been previously banned for…well…being a mutant so he sent me the following e-mail…

This is from: Ed

I just want to let you know, trench, that I’m deeply offended by some of the things you and your supporters say about the shooters. They were the only inspiration in my life and just because I am a ‘mutant’ as you childishly call us doesn’t mean I’m inhuman or less deserving of respect than any of you.

Ok, Edgar, I want you to argue your point of view with me. For a limited time, I have rescinded your banishment to the cornfield in order to participate in this thread and this thread alone. Post in any other thread and your ban will be reinstated. I also want my regular commenters to participate as well except there will be no name calling. No patronizing. We’re all going to discuss this like adults.

My first questions to you Edgar are…

Are you still in school?
If so what grade?
Why are two mass murderers your only inspiration in life?

36 thoughts on “Anatomy of a Mutant

  1. jim says:

    OK, I’ll be nice. But if the only thing he has to say is “I love Harris and Klebold !!” and nonsensical crap… its on.

    Like

  2. Ed says:

    I just finished high school 3 months ago. No, I don’t retain that stupid high school attitude of wanting to fit in. Probably because I never posessed it in the first place.

    Why are they an inspiration in my life? Hard to say exactly. If I saw a hollywood celebrity walk down my street I wouldn’t give a rats arse. But if those 2 lived and I could meet them LIVE, from prison, it would be like a life already fulfilled for me. And like them, I would gladly trade 70 years of my life for 10-15 minutes of ultimate undeniable supremacy nomatter the occasion. All you people, you go around speaking of God or of the general good of society. But have you ever looked deep enough? deep into the depths of what the natural human desires? Satan is not your enemy, he will give what has truly been taken from you. PRAISE SATAN! PRAISE ME FOR I WILL ONE DAY BE KNOWN AS THE C.R.A.C.K.

    Like

  3. Trench says:

    *sigh* I was willing to discuss things with you rationally but apparently you can’t discuss anything rationally. Back to the cornfield with you. πŸ™„

    Like

  4. jim says:

    You dumb ass troll, had you just left out the sentence in caps I would still be forced to treat you like a human. but your not your not even close. you are lower than a pile of fly shit and your hero’s are dead, dead and gone… never to return. Their, so called, acts of heroism are only heroic to ass clowns like you who still believe they were fighting the system. in the meantime there was no system for them to fight. Thanks to their war, they can never grow up and see the world and be a part of it. none of their dreams get to come true and like they were in life, they are probably failures in death.

    and what was C.R.A.C.K supposed to stand for anyway ?
    Crazed Retard Ass Clown Klan

    Like

  5. Joy says:

    Where the hell are the parents of these kids ???

    Like

  6. Trench says:

    That’s what I’d like to know.

    Like

  7. KuJoe says:

    His dad is probably at the bar and his mom is at home covering up the bruises and blackeyes with makeup.:roll:

    Like

  8. jim says:

    mommy ?? πŸ˜†

    Like

  9. morpheus says:

    Wow, that was quick.

    It’s a pity really, I expected him to last longer.

    Like

  10. Post #5,

    Where were the parents of Bobby Kent and Rocky Wayne Hoffschneider?

    Like

  11. Trench says:

    You mean two people who didn’t kill anybody? And in the case of Hoffschneider didn’t even know Harris and Klebold until after the massacre.

    Like

  12. morpheus says:

    Bobby Kent was the bullied one asshole. His so-called “friends” mobbed him at night in an secluded area. Wow, took a lot of courage for them to do that, huh?

    Like

  13. jim says:

    Morpheus, Dont mind that dumb fuck head. WMD is supposed to banned… if we ignore his bullshit somehow I think he will eventually go away.

    Like

  14. POTTER says:

    is this guy for real with all the satan sh1t? he does need professional help.

    Like

  15. Johnny says:

    I heard and interesting quote the other day, and I think it applies to many of the mutants that are discussed on this forum. “Your either 12 years old, or your not.” Though Ed is done with high school and claims to have never been part of the high school mentality, he’s just a lying 12 year old.

    P.S. Supremacy with guns, bombs and knives isn’t supremacy. Get fit, learn to fight, be provoked, then assert your supremacy.

    Like

  16. jim says:

    I’m not sure I get the 12 year old analogy, But I like the supremacy line.

    Like

  17. Johnny says:

    Thanks,
    The idea is that 12 year olds are irrational and ignorant. I’m sure we all know some adults that still act 12. My analogy provides a very general view of human maturaty levels and behavior, and I’m sure that there are more detailed analogies in circulation, but it certainly made a lot of sense when I first heard it.

    You ever hear about myspace.com? I personaly hate it. Mostly because a lot of people that have a myspace account are between the ages of 14 – 25, but act 12. I know a girl that is so pathetic that she meets people in person, then starts talking about myspace.

    I wouldn’t be surprised if Ed has a myspace account for the soul purpose of telling everyone how much he doesn’t want to fit in. And yet, just by having the account, he has made an attempted to “fit in.”

    Like

  18. jim says:

    I’m sure we all know some adults that still act 12

    I heard of those people, and my girlfriend swears she knows one personally :mrgreen:
    I think everyone normal acts at least a little childish at times, Personally I do it to keep sane. A child’s outlook on life is very simple and without realistic fear. I would rather be afraid of a monster in my closet than a terrorist attack on my next flight, so I try to keep the child mindset.

    Its also way more fun to be a goofy retard than a stuck up suit.
    I am aware of “my space” but unfamiliar with it.

    On the “ed” comment… Your not wrong (not necessarily about him), most people who claim a lack of desire to “fit in” usually want that more than anything. They put up the front that they don’t care and take actions to attempt to prove that be it by a type of clothing style, smoking, drugs, tattoos and piercings, etc… its rebellion in a conformist sort of way.
    So these people become the outcasts they thought they were in the first place and separate themselves further from their dream. I got picked on for disabilities I had no control over in elementary school. I wanted to hang out with the people who picked on me (I cant recall why, but I did) as school progressed, I found a few friends who liked me despite the physical flaws and taught me that they were actually funny too. I shrugged off the good friends and the assholes by hanging out with the biggest assholes the high school had to offer. I have a alpha male personality so I tended to rule over those assholes making me “lord asshole” just made that up… it made me snort πŸ˜†
    All this time I wanted the kids who picked on me to be my friends. Eventually I found my way back to the good friends and have been with them ever since. Its just the way it goes, some people have to learn the hard way.
    God knows I did, and Ed will too. I’ll bet that one day Ed will come back here a young adult with a greatly different mindset. College will fix his brain, if he gets there.

    Like

  19. rebkiller says:

    jim u say that mutants hate soicity and all that but secertly want to fit in. i can assure u that that is bullshit. lets put a twist on your view. u hate mutants and all they stand for. jim i think that you hate us because you want to be like us. see what i mean:???: the last thing i want is to wear my local teams footballjersey and run around with thick cheerleaders. sure they may be blond and hot but nothing would give me more pleasure than to beat their beautyfull little heads in.:lol: i hate them because they think they are better than me. WHY CANT YOU PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THIS.

    Like

  20. Trench says:

    That’s Dark Soldeir by the way. So they think they’re better than you? You think you’re better than them. How is that different?

    Like

  21. jim says:

    dearest dork who cant spell soldier and now has a new name to hide his identity and make me think he is a different dumbass

    I think, that you hate those people because YOU think they are better than you. they are unattainable to you so you hate that you cant/wont fit into their crowd.
    Given the opportunity to wear a jersey and bang a cheerleader you would jump in front of a bus.

    Oh and I didn’t say that you hate “society” and I didn’t say “mutants”. I said you hate what you cant belong to and I included my own high school experiences.
    We knew you couldn’t spell, seems you cant read either.

    and your not impressing me with lines like sure they may be blond and hot but nothing would give me more pleasure than to beat their beautyfull (its beautiful moron, notice how I changed the “Y” to an “I” and removed a “L” ? ) little heads in
    …We know your full of shit and we know your just lonely. why don’t you get a hair cut, some clean clothing and try to make some friends with people you don’t need to keep on a leash ?

    Maybe if you focused on actually learning in school and not so much on who you want to like you, you would a least be an intelligent assclown

    Like

  22. Ed says:

    just you wait and see…when your children are wrapped in duct tape, ice-picks emerging from their eye sockets their hands chopped off those bloody stumps embedded into their chest. Discovered in a trashcan. THEN you will bow before me.

    Like

  23. Trench says:

    I just had to let comment #23 through so we could all get a good laugh.

    Like

  24. Jim says:

    Ed… I’ve taken shits bigger than you, and my children will laugh at you.

    Like

  25. rebkiller says:

    im not dark soilder by the way. and who cares if i spell my words wrong its not like the queen of fuckin england is reading is she, i dont need a wash and a change of clothes thank you jim and trench your new security code is a real big fuckin pain in the fuckin ASS!”

    Like

  26. Trench says:

    My bad. He’s not dark soldier but he’s still a banned mutant.

    Like

  27. Jim says:

    Yeah… the security code sucks… but it hinders assholes like you πŸ˜†

    Like

  28. ZappaCrappa says:

    come on Jim…why encourage these guys to actaully succeed and try in school….we will ALWAYS need ditch diggers and dish washers and the like πŸ˜†

    Like

  29. Jim says:

    πŸ˜† I like Zappa :mrgreen:

    But I have to ask… what kind of an education does a ditch digger really need ? If he/she can move a shovel in a digging type fashion… he don’t need that fancy reading, writing and arithmetic mumbo jumbo. Dishwashers, Fry Cooks, Sod Layers, the guy who stands near road construction holding a sign that says “slow” on one side and “stop” on the other… I’m pretty sure any of these clowns can handle that much responsibility.

    Hey RebKiller !! Clean my car bitch !! πŸ˜†

    Like

  30. ZappaCrappa says:

    Here’s a few little exercises for the mutants to help them find their destined place in society and “succeed”

    Step 1: Look in a mirror

    Step 2: Say, “Would you like fries with that?” Say it for 8 hours a day 5 days a week.

    Step 3: Pick up a shovel.

    Step 4: Go out in your yard and stand in the sun. Smoke cigarettes and every 30 seconds or so, shovel out a scoop of dirt. After 4 hours reverse the process and put all the dirt back.

    Good luck in your future careers πŸ™„

    Like

  31. Alyric says:

    Actually I was one of those people that (genuinely) didn’t care about fitting in, although I never really said anything to that effect. I just wanted to be left alone (and did my best not to draw attention to myself) – but, then, I have Schizoid Personality Disorder, so…

    Wasn’t as bad in high school, but it was still pretty crippling, and it’s gotten worse since.

    Like

  32. rebkiller says:

    yes jim im the type of person that would end up in a shit job like cleaning ur car, but little would u know while id be cleaning it, id take a piss in it too. when you haave crap jobs u can entertaine urselfd by doing all sorts of disgusting things that people like u will never know about. we are the people that serve your fries, and wash ur car, and clean ur house and all that shit. so ud better watch what u say unless u want some other people like me out there to smear dog piss on your fries.!:grin: would you like a side order of spunky mayanase with that?:wink:

    Like

  33. Jim says:

    Yeah… I don’t eat at McDonald’s, People who make good money spend it on good food. Even without the extras McDonald’s tastes like shit, I tend to eat at restaurants that use real beef and pay their employees above minimum wage. Even when I do go fast food, I eat Wendys
    1: their employees have pride and goals in life
    2: its real food

    I doubt you could piss anywhere without soaking your balls so I’ll be laughing along side of you. Little dicks are funny πŸ˜†

    Oh and lastly, I knew you were a loser… so did everyone else, but its worse that you know it and aren’t trying to fix that. Way to aim low and never raise your sights jackass πŸ™„

    Like

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