The Trench Reynolds Crime Report

Crime News That Matters

Man arrested in school-threat case:

Submitted for your approval, one 23-year-old man from Hilton Head South Carolina by the name of Michael Hatcher Cochrane. Mr. Cochrane was arrested for a month-long of phone calls threatening violence against Hilton Head Middle School. Authorities have charged him with five counts of threatening the use of a destructive device and three counts each of threatening the life of a teacher or principal and disturbing schools even though it appears that Mr. Cochrane never intended to carry out the threats. Authorities allege that Mr. Cochrane made the threatening phone calls to foster a better relationship with one of his family members. Is Mr. Cochrane just one of those people who can’t find their own friends and must try to impress the friends of younger relatives in order to appear cool? Or is he just trailer trash with nothing better to do? Or is it some third possibility incomprehensible to the rational mind. The answers lie ahead as the signpost up ahead reads…

The Dumbass Zone

Apologies to the late Rod Serling.

3 thoughts on “23-year-old charged in Hilton Head threat

  1. thpunishrr says:

    That’s funny stuff! And this guy is class A looser!


  2. Will Shadow says:

    Guy: “hey guys, watch me!”
    calls school
    Guy: “I’m gonna fucking *snicker* kill you!”
    hangs up
    Guy: A-hahahahah, that was great, wasn’t it guys?
    doorbell rings
    Guy: I’ll get it!
    Police: Hey dumbass, you’re under arrest, and will now be made fun of on the internet.
    Guy: aw man….


  3. ZappaCrappa says:

    Future Career French Fry Fryer….”Can I supersize that for you sire?


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