The Trench Reynolds Crime Report

Crime News That Matters

Elisa Baker. I done tipped over.

Elisa Baker. I done tipped over.

We have some minor updates in the case of Elisa Baker who as I’m sure you know has been charged in the murder of her 10-year-old stepdaughter Zahra Baker.

The first is that her attorney wants to move the trial out of Catawba County in North Carolina. The attorney says “There’s no way she can get a fair trial in Catawba County.”

I guess the attorney forgot that since Zahra Baker is from Australia that this case has received worldwide attention. The trial would be the same in Catawba County as it would be anywhere else.

The more interesting detail is that the Sheen-Cow herself allegedly passed out in court today.

Elisa Baker nearly fainted in court today, as prosecutors tried to schedule her for trial on charges that she obstructed justice by writing a phony ransom note to throw off investigators looking into the disappearance of Baker’s stepdaughter, Zahra.

Baker’s attorney poured her a cup of water and court bailiffs helped her to a seat. It was unclear what the problem was.

How about she had a big case of fakeritis? Again I am adamant in my opinion that Baker is nothing more than a lowly grifter. She either did it to disrupt court proceedings or to try and gain sympathy. Grifters are used to preying on people that are not as intelligent as them. As far as I can gather Baker’s previous victims haven’t been the sharpest tools in the shed. Hopefully, the court isn’t as stupid as her other victims.

13 thoughts on “Sheen-Cow, Elisa Baker, tips over in court

  1. Anonymous says:

    This woman is one of the most sickest individuals I have ever heard about in my life. Zahra’s father is no better. I’m sure the devil has already reserved them a spot in Hell!!

    Like

  2. TaraJane says:

    This malingering malignent festering pustule of a weeping lesion on the syphilitic c*nt of the solar system is like the poster child for when women are not classified as sociopaths because of gender prejudices and are instead labeled with the more victim like sounding (often only sounding because oh god the suffering they inflict) borderline personality disorder. Bitch is a stone cold killer. Completely amoral, totally lacking empathy of any kind, classic psyhpath- views others as things she maneuvers to get what she wants. Technically a mental disorder but not remotely anything that comes within even the aun’s distance from the earth in absolving her of responsibility. They know the difference between right and wrong they just honestly don’t care.
    At the risk of sounding like a television procedural they need to profile her as if she were male. The only thing feminine about this creature is her biology- her brain is totally psychopath filled with I WANT &amp HE/SHE/IT IS IN MY WAY. the defender is right she won’t find non prejudiced jury anywhere because hopefully there isn’t a pocket of jurors who isn’t completely sickened by someone so lacking in humanity it is only surprising she isn’t named Mengele or wearing the insignia of the Schutzstaffel.

    The only fitting punishment for this sickening, depraved, waddling scad of excreta is for her to be somehow afflicted with the same cancers (leukemia and then bone cancer was it? I feel awful for not remembering accurately what that poor angel suffered before this demon got her claws on her, as though I’m somehow denigrating poor Zahra’s memory) lose her hearing, her leg and then be tortured slowly (I’m thinking something with a bear trap, some wire tourniquets to enable piece by piece dismemberments – thanks, “Criminal Minds SB” and some juicy MRSA, VRE, C DIFF and maybe that crazy drug resistant TB ) while she is forced to sit in a room duct taped to a chair as so many of the BBers here do their children covered on her own waste while roaches, rats, and whatever other random vermin people vote for can come on in and nest in her open wounds. She can yell all she wants because the first thing anyone should do is cut out her lying tongue with a rusty butter knife. Make sure her tetanus up to date though, we don’t want lockjaw taking her out too soon.

    But that’s just my two cents.

    RIP Zahra, may the Angels sing you to your rest where you’ll be healthy and whole and free of fear and know only love and peace.

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    1. ihavekids2 says:

      That is, without question, one of the most eloquent, moving rants I’ve ever read on this website! No one has ever said it better! I bow before you!

      Like

    2. Mary Elizabeth says:

      I am in awe of you.

      Like

    3. Anonymous says:

      applause!!!! The rant of all rants, i’m in awe

      Like

    4. Clevo says:

      Abso-effing-lutely awesome rant! I say we shave her head and burn her at the stake. If anyone in history EVER deserved it it’s this ugly evil succubus!

      Like

  3. Steve says:

    she sure does have that dramatic flair that many grifters show. They are used(and good at) displaying behavior that manipulates people’s emotions-good or bad-in order to get what they want. This is con artist 101 people. She horrifies people a great deal more than normal female felons because she not only possesses female behavioral characteristics but also traits normally seen primarily in male killers. She is also a black widow in the sense that she lures men in-whatever that takes-and then takes advantage. She is the WORST kind of sociopath-the kind that kill and seek to cover it up. they KNOW they are doing something EVIL because they try and hide it.

    Her best bet at this point is to either kill herself, become seriously disfigured or hope she winds up in a max security prison because I know if she ends up in the general pop in greytown she is DONE for. Considering how universally reviled this cum-money marshmellow is, she won’t be safe anywhere else either, ever.

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  4. Jadecrowe says:

    *snort* cow tipping *lmao*

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    1. Anonymous says:

      cow tipping? hahahahahaha!!!!

      Like

  5. ihavekids2 says:

    BTW Trench – you’ve still got it, man! “Sheen Cow” … “tips” … What a great way to start my day!

    Like

    1. I thought it was obvious. lol

      Like

  6. Mary Elizabeth says:

    Of course she tipped over! Look at the size of the bitch!

    Like

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