Good Will Punching II

We have another two time Punch in The Head award winner today. Ben Affleck was at the Capitol promoting a bill sponsored by known alcoholic, bad driver, and bad swimmer, Ted Kennedy that would raise the minimum wage. He bemoans the fact that his family had a hard time struggling on minimum wage and in the same breath states that no one can raise a family on minimum wage. Here’s the thing Benny. Minimum wage was not designed to support a family. Minimum wage was designed for kids still living with their parents, retired people, and as a supplementary income. If you raise the minimum wage are you going to raise all wages across the board? If you raise the minimum wage you’re actually increasing the poverty level by bringing down hard working folk like myself closer to minimum wage. Here’s the thing Ben, you’re just an actor. That doesn’t make you smarter or any more important than the rest of us. As a matter of fact if it wasn’t for Kevin Smith you wouldn’t even have a career.

So since you’re so fond of hanging out with Ted Kennedy please feel free to pick up your award from any member of the Kopechne family.

“Good Will Punching” or “Punch Watch” or “Mike Farrell is a Stupid Fucking Assclown”

Lots of awards to give out tonight we have two, two-time winners and a new inductee.

Our first “Punch in the Head” award winner is new to these pages. I kind of almost didn’t want to do it because I like him in Kevin Smith’s movies and Daredevil kicked ass. But he opened his mouth and shit came pouring out. I am speaking of course of Ben Affleck. Mr. Affleck recently accepted an award from a liberal political group and said…

“The Bush administration has continued to push a dangerous right-wing agenda which has included increasing encroachments on civil liberties, particularly with the questionable and aggressive use of the Patriot Act,” Affleck fumed on Tuesday night when he accepted a Spirit of Liberty award from the People for the American Way, a liberal political action group, in L.A.

He’s from Kennedy Kountry so I’m not really surprised. Ah yes, The Patriot Act. Liberals crack me up. They want it both ways. I want you to protect me from terrorism but do it in a kind and gentle non-offensive way with flowers, and tofu burgers, and Dave Matthews CD’s. Give me a fucking break. If you’re not doing anything wrong you don’t have anything to worry about. Ben also said…

Affleck, who wrote his own speech, jokingly decried “the dawn of the Schwarzenegger era in American politics,” comparing it with “the fall of the Roman Empire.”

Why are all the liberals bent out of shape over Arnold? He grabbed an ass or two, let’s lynch him. But Clinton harasses scores of women and radical leftist feminists let it slide. More liberal doublespeak. Anyway B-Lo you don’t have to collect your award. You’ll receive it in karmic form when your skank ho dumps your ass. It will feel just like being punched in the head.

Our 2nd award goes to a woman who needs no introduction. She was also one of the first Punchie winners. Today she is receiving it for calling for a boycott of KFC because of the way they treat their chickens. Of course I am talking about everyone’s favorite amateur porn star Pam Anderson. My favorite quote from the article is this…

I am calling for a boycott of all KFC restaurants until my friends at PETA tell me that you have agreed to be kinder in your practices.

Further proof that she doesn’t have an independent thought in her head. Miss Anderson you don’t have to pick up your award either. You’ve received it repeatedly from your ex-husband. How’s that Hepatitis going for you. I don’t condone domestic abuse but I can see why Tommy Lee hit her. (Props to my wife for that one.)

And last but certainly not least is another repeat winner who also received one of the first Punchies. He was on last night’s O’Reilly Factor. (Sorry, I wish I had a transcript but that’s the best I could do.) He told a cop’s widow that her husband’s killer should be set free because the American justice system is “broke”. Oh you guessed didn’t you. It’s “almost on the same Assclown scale as Michael Moore” Mike Farrell. On FNC last night Mr. Farrell told Maureen Faulkner, widow of slain Philly police officer Daniel Faulkner, that her husband’s killer Mumia Abu-Jamal should go free. I had to change the channel at that point I was sou enraged. Mr. Farrell please by all means pick up your award from any Philadelphia police officer. I’m sure they would be more than glad to help you out.