Fred Phelps dares tangle with the master

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WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH To Picket RONNIE JAMES DIO’s Public Memorial Service?

You know, I’ve been keeping quiet about Fred Phelps and his merry band of assclowns from the Westboro Baptist Church for a few years now. In case you don’t know who they are they’re the ‘God hates fags’ church. And I use the term church very loosely. In the past they’ve been known to protest the funerals of AIDS victims, gay people who have been killed in hate crimes and even those in our military who gave their lives for their country so asshats like Phelps can be guaranteed his free speech.

I’ve known about them longer than most people and I was outraged at first however I soon learned that the real way to combat these idiots is to ignore them. The more attention they get the more they thrive on it. So I’ve been biting my tongue on them hoping others would follow suit so that their ‘organization’ would whither and die. But people still get outraged with them and they still get the attention they seek.

Now they’re doing something that even has my attention. They plan on protesting the public memorial of the one true metal god and my icon Ronnie James Dio.

Check out what these idiots had to say…

“You know 67 year old, Satan-worshiping (or at least one of their enablers) Ronnie James Dio (of showing his devil horns to the world each time he goes in public) BLACK SABBATH fame is dead, right? We’ll be there! Just because the chances of any of God’s elect being amongst this group of heavy metal sycophants is slim to none does not mean they should not get some good words.”

I guess the WBC gets all their exercise jumping to conclusions. I am a Christian. I am proud to be a Christian. I am also proud that I a, a huge fan of Ronnie James Dio. I also know plenty of other Dio fans that are Christians as well. And while I do not like getting into who is more Christian than who type arguments I can honestly and without hyperbole claim that me and my fellow Dio loving Christians are more Christian than anyone in the WBC will ever be.

They continue to engage in their usual brand of verbal diarrhea.

“Yes, it is true that Ozzy Osbourne did ‘accidentally’ bite off the head of a bat, but THAT is the least of their sins (little nasties!), they currently do not do that, but they throw raw meat to the audience and encourage violence of EVERY FORM!”

Hold the phone just a minute there junior. I’ve been to Sabbath shows. I’ve been to Dio SHows. I’ve also been to several dozen Ozzy shows. Not once was even a scrap of anything even remotely resembling meat ever thrown to the audience. I think they may be thinking of GWAR shows. And again at none of those shows was violence ever encouraged. As a matter of fact it was quite the opposite as I always made temporary friends with those in the seats around me or waiting in line. They continue…

admitted sins of this now dead and in hell pervert: 1) He hates his neighbor(s) starting with Ozzy Osbourne

Let’s stop right there. I’m sure they’re meaning neighbor in the biblical sense as in Love thy…which the Westboro clowns seem to forget. Anyway, Ronnie and Ozzy buried the hatchet a long time ago.

and continuing down to his pornography star niece Gen Padova!

I didn’t know Ronnie had a porn star niece and even if he does what the hell does that have to do with him? And how do they know that she’s a porn star? Every Obit I’ve read about Ronnie mentioned his son, grandchildren and father but I haven’t read anything about a niece. Not to mention Ronnie’s real name is Padavona not Padova.

2) He hates God. Pay especial attention to the fact that he changed his original sir name from Padova to Dio, which means God in Italian.

He hates the Catholic Church and at this point I can’t blame him for that but that’s another rant for another day. But how can you say he hates God when he has songs like Hungry for Heaven. And he took the name Dio from a gangster in the 50s.

3) Ronnie the simpleton enabled, and encouraged Sorceries: everything he was about including the little finger horn thing (he got this from his mother which is an incantation to ward off the ‘evil eye’) to the drugs, bloody raw meat and his fellowship with those pentagon necklace wearing freakish band members.”

First off the horns, aka the maloik, he got from his superstitious grandmother. So if you think about it the horns are about as evil as throwing salt over your shoulder. And so the guy writes about dragons and wizards and he’s encouraging sorcery? At the very worst he encouraged some kids to play D&D. Again, no raw meat and I don’t think they wore pentagon necklaces. Would they pick those up at the Pentagon gift shop in Washington?

With all the outlandish lies that come out of the WBC it makes me wonder if they’re just one giant troll out for the lulz. Like an IRL version of 4chan.

Anyway if they do protest his memorial they will be walking into the dragon’s den so to speak. It’s not really a good idea to piss off a bunch of mourning metalheads.

Now I’m going back to acting like Phelps and his inbred brood don’t exist. And while I’m at it let me reiterate that not all Christians are judgmental assahts like Phelps. As a matter of fact I don’t even consider them Christians. Most of us are generally nice people but idiots like Phelps give us a bad name. Not to mention that the press doesn’t give coverage to normal Christians just overzealous assclowns.