Jade Helm goes out not with a bang but a whimper


When the military exercise codenamed Jade Helm 15 was first announced some citizens of Texas went nuts with conspiracy theories of martial law and the confiscation of guns. They caused such a clamor that the Governor of Texas, Greg Abbott, actually promised these whackjobs that the Texas Guard will watch over the exercise.

Well, guess what kids. Jade Helm has ended and Texas remains free and full of guns. However, I’m sure the conspiracy theorists will take credit for keeping Texas free by allegedly exposing the evil government’s plans of rounding up gun owning Texans and holding them against their will in empty Wal-Marts. I’m just thankful that none of these nuts injured or killed a member of our own military.

I guess the tin foil hat crowd will now have to go back to ‘9/11 was an inside job’ until the next ‘false flag’ comes around.

Jade Helm should stay out of Texas but not for conspiracy reasons


I originally posted about military exercise code-named Jade Helm 15 here. The short version is that a crazy vocal minority in Texas think that the exercise is actually some kind of secret government operation to either declare martial law in Texas or to take their guns or both depending on which crackpot you’re talking to. What makes the situation worse is that when Jade Helm was first announced and the tin foil crowd first complained, Texas Governor Greg Abbot actually acquiesced to this vocal minority of morons and promised that the Texas Guard will monitor the exercises.

As the start of Jade Helm grows nearer I’m beginning to think that maybe the Texas part of the exercise should be canceled. Not because I believe in any conspiracy theory bullshit but I’m afraid it might put the safety of some of our military members at risk.

I’m afraid that some gun nut will see a member of the military somewhere near his land and decide to take matters into his own hands. Even worst I’m afraid that small ‘militia’ groups may already be forming to go out looking for trouble.

Since the Governor of Texas doesn’t have the balls or the brains to tell some of his constituents that they’re crazier than shit house rats then the US military may want to consider keeping their personnel away from the more armed and brain-addled area of the exercise.

Texans lose their minds over military exercise Jade Helm 15


Surprised this wasn’t done in Comic Sans

Almost around this time last year, I posted about how not only were the conspiracy nuts taking over but they were now dictating public policy. In that year it’s gotten significantly worse.

The U.S. military is about to undertake something that it’s done since the beginning of when this country had a military, military exercises. Many sections of the military will; take place in a massive exercise that will span from July to September and from California to Texas that is codenamed Jade Helm 15. A lot of people in Texas are collectively losing their shit over Jade Helm 15 saying that either their guns are going to be confiscated, it’s the start of martial law or that they’ll be sent to the ever so popular FEMA prison camps.

This would actually be hilarious if it wasn’t for one thing. The GOVERNOR of Texas, Greg Abbott, has actually bent over for these crackpots by promising that the Texas Guard will monitor the exercises to make sure they’re on the up and up. God forbid a politician should tell these people that they’re crazier than a shithouse rat. At least a former politician did. Todd Euless, a veteran of the Texas Legislature, wrote a letter to the governor that said he is “horrified that I have to choose between the possibility that my Governor actually believes this stuff and the possibility that my Governor doesn’t have the backbone to stand up to those who do.” He also referred to the lunatic fringe as a cancer on the state. Can’t say I disagree with him.

My question is are these partisan conspiracy nuts? Are they only frothing at the mouth because a black Democrat who’s a ‘secret Muslim from Kenya’ in the White House or did they also go bananas about military exercises when Bush of Skull and Bones was in office?

Let’s look at this logically for a minute. I know that’s a lot to ask from some folks but bear with me. Where is the majority of fighting taking place in the world today? In areas with lots of deserts. What’s mostly between California and Texas? A shit ton of desert.

As an aside when I become president I’m going to initiate Aluminum Hat 1 that will round up all the conspiracy theorists and finally put them in FEMA camps. Then they’ll finally get to be happy by telling everyone they were right all along. It’ll be easy to identify them. Just ask them if 9/11 was an inside job.

As I’ve said before when you look for a conspiracy in everything then everything is a conspiracy. Me? I’d rather go about living my life without fearing an imaginary bogeyman.

UPDATE 5/4/2015: For fuck’s sake, Chuck Norris is one of them.

Texas AG joins the list

AG wants MySpace.com to make Web safer for kids:

Add Texas to the list of states whose Attorney Generals want MySpace to crackdown on predators. The other states so far have been New York, Connecticut, and Massachusetts.

AUSTIN — An investigator posing as a 13-year-old girl with a profile on MySpace.com helped officers nab a man for the second time in five months on charges that he was using the Internet to solicit sex from a minor.

The second arrest of John David Payne prompted Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott to urge MySpace and other social networking Web sites to increase efforts to protect children and teenagers from explicit images and sexual solicitations.

“This shows how aggressive and how dangerous these child predators are,” Abbott said Monday at a summit he hosted to discuss online criminal activity. “Even a one-time law enforcement arrest is not going to stop predators like this.”

About 300 government officials, law enforcement officers and representatives from technology companies attended the summit to talk about ways to make the Internet safer.

Payne was arrested in December after he arrived in Bastrop for an alleged sexual rendezvous with what he thought was an underage teen he met on the Internet.

While he was awaiting trial, he was arrested again May 10, after he allegedly engaged in graphic sexual conversation with an investigator posing as a teen on MySpace. He also solicited sex from a different investigator posing as another girl in a separate chat room.

A spokeswoman for Abbott said their office has had MySpace profiles for some time, but Payne’s arrest was one of the first to stem from that site.

Abbott said Web sites like MySpace, a social networking hub with more 72 million members, should make it harder to find profiles belonging to underage youth and should use software that automatically scans all uploaded photographic images and blocks those that are pornographic.

A spokesman for Myspace did not immediately return a telephone call seeking comment.

The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children has been working with MySpace to identify ways to make it more difficult for young people to put up too much information about themselves, said Michelle Collins, director of the center’s exploited children unit.

The center also has partnered with the site for a campaign to teach teenagers how to protect themselves online.

“There isn’t any one solution that’s going to solve the problem,” she said. “It’s really going to be by joining collective forces that we can have the biggest impact.”

At least they’re not making ridiculous demands like Massachusetts.