The 2018 Trenchie Awards

The 2018 Trenchie Awards

I’m sorry that I didn’t get these posted yesterday as I was feeling under the weather. That’s a weird phrase. Aren’t we always under the weather? Anyway, on with the show.

Best Movie: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse.  I looked more forward to this then I did Avengers: Infinity War. Even though I’m a DC Comics fanboy, I had to see Spider-Verse shortly after its release and I have yet to see Aquaman. Animated superhero movies are so much more complimentary to the genre than live-action movies. I literally got choked up during several parts of Spider-Verse.

Best Album: I did not get a lot of new music in 2018 and some of the ones I did came out in 2017 like Ritual by In This Moment.  Halestorm had a pretty decent album with Vicious but there were a number of songs on it that I didn’t care for. If I was picking song of the year it would be Dance Macabre by Ghost. A very catchy metal song that I could not get out of my head but the rest of Ghost’s new album was bland, in my opinion. Anyway, my album of the year was an album called Thief by a band called Callout. A little different than what I normally listen to but the album had a lot of songs that I kept finding myself listening to over and over again. Here’s a sample.

Best TV Show: 2018 was a great year for TV, at least for me. Season 5 of Agents of SHIELD was the best season they’ve had so far. Season 1 of Black Lightning was awesome until the season finale where the villain literally said he wanted to “Make America Great Again”. While I’m no fan of the tangerine nightmare from where that phrase originated, but I found that episode to be a little too ham-fisted. Also, I’ve fallen off the Black Lightning train as I dropped off during season 2. Season 1 of Cloak and Dagger was really good too but I felt their season finale was rushed to an ending. However, I am looking forward to the second season. However, there was one series that hit on all cylinders for me and it was Titans. Even I thought it was going to be bad after the infamous “Fuck Batman” trailer but it turned out to be a really well-done series that kept me looking forward to each new episode. I also appreciate the fact that DC Universe released episodes weekly instead of doing it Netflix-style by releasing all the episodes at once. I’m not a binge watcher and didn’t watch Daredevil season 3 because of that.

Best Comic: Vertigo’s Astro City. If you haven’t read Astro City, it takes place in Metropolis-like city where many superheroes reside but Astro City oftentimes features just the normal citizens trying to live in such a city. The storyline that made me pick Astro City as comic of the year was one where a man’s wife was erased from time during a Crisis-like event but the man still retained his memories of her and he went on to start a support group for people who lost loved ones in superhero/villain related calamities. Astro City was a great title that deconstructed the superhero genre without relying heavily on gratuitous violence.

Most Inane Political Agenda of 2018: Arming teachers. Anybody who thinks that arming teachers will prevent school shootings is a few McNuggets short of a happy meal. Arming teachers just puts guns even closer to the hands of would-be shooters.

Dumbasses of 2018: All the troglodytes who put any stock in the QAnon conspiracy theories. Because when I think of investigative fact-finding my first thought is always of 4chan.

Biggest Jackass Celebrity of 2018: I don’t know if he really qualifies as a ‘celebrity’ but it’s NRA President Oliver North for suggesting that Ritalin causes school shootings. This is who represents you, responsible gun owners.

18 years in a row now. I guess I’ll keep doing these after all.

The 2017 Trenchie Awards

The 2017 Trenchie Awards

Let’s see if I can get these done before midnight, central time anyway.

Best Movie: Wonder Woman. Although the ending was a little anti-climactic, I thought it had the best action of all the superhero movies of the year.

Best Album: 2017 was kind of a mediocre year for music for me so I’ll have to pick the album with the song I most identified with this year and that would be Hydrograd by Stone Sour.

Best TV Show: It came down to either Legion or American Gods, but I have to give it to Legion since the show runners took a horrible 90s comic book storyline and made it a worthwhile TV series. Both of these series had short seasons too which I felt to be very satisfying.

Best Comic: I meant to post about this but I never got around to it. Much like music for the year, 2017 was a mediocre year for comics. However, I’ve been enjoying Mark Waid’s current run on the post-Secret Empire Captain America run. It’s only been two issues but I love comics that take antiquated concepts like Captain America and make them relative to a modern world.

Most Inane Political Agenda of 2017: In a year that had a lot of political BS pollute the airways, personally I have to give it to Everytown for Gun Safety. While I have no problem with a gun control advocacy group, their inflated statistical claims make it so I can’t take them seriously.

Dumbasses of 2017: Everyone who got offended over this picture thinking either WalMart did it on purpose or that they somehow endorsed school shootings.

Biggest Jackass Celebrity of 2017: It’s a tie. While calling him a celebrity is being generous, our first ‘winner’ is Scott Baio for him allegedly believing that Sandy Hook never happened. Our co-winner is a repeat performer in Johnny Depp for when the alleged domestic abuser told triple child killer Damien Echols that he would ‘catch his heart’.

Hey look at me. I got this done in time in 75% of American time zones.

The 2016 Trenchie Awards

The 2016 Trenchie Awards

Best Movie: Captain America: Civil War. It’s what we finally wanted out of a superhero movie, people in tights beating the crap out of each other. Why BvS couldn’t grasp that is beyond me.

Best Album: 2016 was a pretty good year for music, my music anyway. Some great albums that came out in 2016, such as Lords of Black II, Flotsam and Jetsam’s self-titled album, and Dystopia by Megadeth. However, the one album that kept getting played over and over in my collection was Be Like The River by relative newcomers Devilskin. Give them a listen here.

Worst Album: I normally don’t do worsts anymore but I felt one album this year definitely deserved it and that’s Heavy Crown by Last in Line. Last in Line is Ronnie James Dio’s former backup band putting out an album of originals, but the album just sounds like nothing more than Vivian Campbell bitching about Dio for an hour. If you want a good throwback metal album, listen to the Resurrection Kings album instead.

Best TV Show: The Netflix comic shows have been pretty weak if you ask me. Daredevil Season 2 was a little off even though it had The Punisher and Luke Cage kind of bored me so I have to give it to The Flash once again. It’s so gloriously comic booky and fun that I just can’t miss an episode.

Best Comic: 2016 was not a great year for comic books. I mean what was up with Marvel’s publishing schedule when it came to Civil War II? Anyway, there was no one great series that stood out for me, but as far as single issues go it’s definitely DC Rebirth #1. The frame where Barry Allen pulls the original Wally West out of the Speed Force actually made me choke up a little bit.

Best Video Game: While I Mostly play games that are years old so I can get them on discount, I actually played a 2016 game and the game was Amazing. That game was Stardew Valley. I derived a lot of enjoyment out of this retro style farming simulator. Trust me, it’s more entertaining than it sounds.

Most Inane Political Agenda of 2016: Let’s see if I can think of something that has nothing to do with the election. Oh, I’ve got it, the FDA’s ruling on vaping that’s basically scheduled to kill the industry. Let’s take something that has gotten scores of people to quit smoking and regulate into the ground by imposing outlandish application fees of $1M.

Dumbasses of 2016: Again, let’s see if I can avoid invoking the election. Got it again. Let’s give it to all the people who watched ‘Making a Murderer’ and now think Stephen Avery is innocent. He’s not. He’s a cold-blooded killer who is exactly where he is supposed to be.

Biggest Jackass Celebrity of 2016: Once again I’m going to try to avoid the election especially since Trump won this category last year. Nope, can’t do it. It has to be Trump. He’s more celebrity than politician even though he is the President-Elect. While I’m not as fearful or venomous as a lot of Trump opponents, and I don’t require a safe space, nothing this man does fills me with any kind of sense of hope. The next four years are going to be a rough ride, and hopefully, in that time both major parties can come up with a candidate who isn’t an out of touch career politician or an inexperienced douchebag.

The 2015 Trenchie Awards

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Best Movie: Since I’m not a Star Wars fan it was Avengers: Age of Ultron. Honorable mention goes to Mad Max: Fury Road.

Best Album: Only one album this year was repeatedly played in my rotation and that was Into the Wild Life by Halestorm. They keep getting better with each album.

Best TV Show: It was a great year for geek TV. While already having shows like Arrow and Agents of SHIELD we also got treated to Daredevil, Mr. Robot, Gotham and Supergirl but I have to give it to The Flash. For once a show embraces the fact that it’s based on a comic book and is unapologetic about it.

Best Comic: Best single issue was Convergence The Question #2 while the best title of the year was The Black Hood.

Dumbasses of 2015: All the Texas conspiracy theorists who thought that military exercise Jade Helm 15 was a government invasion of Texas.

Most Inane Political Agenda of 2015: Those who defended the Confederate flag in the wake of the Charleston church shootings. As I’ve said many times before, you lost, get over it. Also, the people who claim there have been x number of shootings this year who use grossly exaggerated statistics.

Biggest Jackass Celebrity of 2015: Could it be anyone but Donald Trump? He’s not a politician, he’s not a statesman. He’s nothing more than an opportunist who is appealing to the lowest common denominator. I know it’s a sin to invoke Godwin’s Law on the internet but the things Trump says about Muslims and Mexicans is eerily similar to what Hitler said about Jews and gypsies.

The 2014 Trenchie Awards

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14 years in a row. If these blog posts were a person they’d be an awkward teenager going through some sort of phase.

Best Movie: Captain America: The Winter Soldier. This is what superhero movies should be, fun, exciting and action packed from start to finish. I didn’t see Guardians of the Galaxy because I got tired of hearing about the tree and the rat and I got all hipster about it.

Best Album: Not a banner year for music in my opinion so by default I have to give it to Plagues Of Babylon by Iced Earth. Not a great album but decent. If you want to listen to a great Iced Earth album that’s not Iced Earth then I recommend the 2013 debut album of Ashes of Ares with former Iced Earth frontman Matt Barlow.

Best TV Show: 2014 was great a year for geek TV. Arrow is still going strong as is Agents of SHIELD and then we got The Flash and Constantine on top of it. However I have to give it to Gotham just for Robin Taylor’s portrayal of The Penguin. Is it wrong that I’m rooting for him?

Best Comic: Best single issue was Daredevil #7 for the reasons I mentioned in my review. My favorite title of the year was The New 52 Futures End. Not necessarily for the ongoing story, which is good, but for the Futures End month which had so many well written one-off stories. Honorable mention to Multiversity which may be my pick for 2015 and to Spider-Verse which is the only Marvel crossover to hold my attention in some time.

Dumbasses of 2014: Anyone who posted links on Facebook that contained such phrases as “You won’t believe what happens next” or “This will break your heart”. You’ve ruined what little reason I had to go to Facebook.

Most Inane Political Agenda of 2014: With all due respect to the victims’ families the fact that some of the families of the victims of the Sandy Hook tragedy are suing the gun manufacturer. I didn’t post about this when it happened because I feel like I addressed it in my post about how gun control laws will not prevent future school shootings.

Biggest Jackass Celebrity of 2014: Hands down Bill Cosby, allegedly but in my opinion where there’s smoke there’s fire. There are no perfect crimes and you reap what you sow.

That’s it for 2014 and hopefully I’ll get to do this again next year for the 15th time.

The 2013 Trenchie Awards

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13 years in a row blah blah blah…

Best Movie: Man of Steel. Finally, a Superman movie where he beats the shit out of things. Was that so hard? I also had no problem with the ending and I’m sure it will be used to set up a future storyline in the series.

Best Album: Lay My Soul to Waste by A Pale Horse Named Death. This was a flawless album and the first one I’ve heard in a while. Everything that was great from their first album is even better in this album. If you’re a fan of Type O Negative you have to get this album. Honorable mention to Super Collider by Megadeth.

Worst Album: 13 by Black Sabbath. It’s not a horrible album but it didn’t live up to the hype. It felt very derivative of their classic albums.

Best TV Show: Agents of SHIELD. Much like Arrow it’s well written and has plenty of inside geek references to keep it interesting.

Best Comic: Deathmatch by BOOM Studios. Take 32 pastiches of iconic comic book heroes and villains and pit them in a deathmatch tournament to save the world. The 12 issue series kept me on the edge of my seat and constantly looking forward to the next issue.

Worst Comic: The Infinity storyline from Marvel Comics. Never before have I become bored with a storyline so fast.

Best OS: Repeating as Champion is Voyager. The Xubuntu based Linux distro was even better and faster with version 13.10.

Worst OS: Windows 8.1. Let’s bring the Start Button back like everyone wanted but have it go to the crappy Metro menu. Great job Redmond.

Dumbasses of 2013: Whoever it was that came up with the ludicrous pot smoking gay tryst scenario that supposedly proves the West Memphis 3 are innocent. That’s even too far-fetched for a bad TV police drama script.

Most Inane Political Agenda of 2013: Everyone who is trying to get e-cigs and vaping banned just because it looks like smoking. Let’s take something that has helped multitudes of people quit smoking and ban it. Makes sense.

Biggest Jackass Celebrity of 2013: I hate to say it because it shows that I acknowledge that she exists, Miley Cyrus. We get it. You’re an ‘adult’ now. And you know someone told her that sticking out her tongue in every picture looks good. She’ll be in the ‘Where are they now’ files soon enough.

See you next year hopefully.

The 2012 Trenchie Awards

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12-years in a row people. That’s dedication. Anyway, on to the show.

Best Movie: The Dark Knight Rises. Best movie of the trilogy and possibly the best comic book movie ever. Avengers was ok but the middle of the movie bored the crap out of me while TDKR had me hanging on every second.

Worst Movie: The Amazing Spider-Man. Possibly the worst cast movie of all time. The only casting they got right was Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy. The story was bland and there was little to no action at all in this movie.

Best Album: This was a tough choice to make so I won’t make one. It’s actually a tie this year between “The Strange Case of…” by Halestorm and “The Electric Age” by Overkill. Halestorm is a great band fronted by the talented Lzzy Hale that actually rocks. Pure rock and roll by Halestorm and they’ve matured as a band with their second release. And Overkill keeps producing the best thrash known to mankind. No worst album this year.

Best TV Show: Arrow. A great action packed show based on a B-List superhero but Arrow delivers the goods and has plenty of hidden comic geek references to keep me coming back. I mean so far there’s been Deadshot, Deathstroke, and The Huntress. What’s not cool about that? Also as far as animated goes I highly recommend TRON: Uprising. No worst TV this year either.

Best Comic: The Incredible Hulk. I really liked the juxtaposition of roles with Hulk being the victim and Banner being the insane one. Notable mention goes to The Punisher for a great storyline with his female apprentice.

Worst Comics: It’s a tie between most of the New 52 and Marvel NOW!. Marvel says don’t call it a reboot. Fuck you. It’s a reboot.

Best OS: New category folks. I’m getting even geekier in my old age. Anyway, the winner is Voyager. This is a French distro based on Xubuntu that is not only chock full of eye candy but comes preloaded with a cubic ass-ton of useful software.

Worst OS: Windows 8. Holy hell what were they thinking? I refuse to use an OS that looks like 1970s industrial carpeting. Tablets are for kids.

Dumbasses of 2012: I’d like to say it would be the media for the misinformation they put out about the Aurora and Sandy Hook shootings but that would be too easy. Instead, even though I don’t like to give them any more attention, it would have to be the ‘Holmies’. These are the idiot teen girl murder groupies on Tumblr who think that the Aurora gunman James Holmes is dreamy.

Most Inane Political Agenda of 2012: A late entrant but I have to give it to NRA President Wayne LaPierre for even remotely insinuating that Sandy Hook had anything do with video games. How many times does this myth need to debunked? Hell, I don’t think that even he who shall not be named, not Voldemort, even said that about Sandy Hook.

Biggest Jackass Celebrity of 2012: Johnny Depp for being the world’s richest murder groupie. Much like 2011’s winner Peter Jackson, Depp also got matching tattoos with convicted child killer Damien Echols. Not only that but it was a tattoo that Echols himself supposedly designed. I imagine it looks like something a high school stoner would scrawl on their notebooks.

That’s it for this year kids. As always don’t be a statistic tonight and we’ll see you again in another year.

The 2011 Trenchie Awards

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It’s that time of year again. Time for the 11th annual post that my wife looks forward to all year. It’s the 2011 Trenchie Awards. Heh, how many blogs can say they’ve done anything for 11 years in a row…but I digress.

Best Movie: Green Lantern. Actually X-Men First Class was the better movie but I’m such a GL fanboy any movie with the Green Lantern oath in it gets my vote. Also, I don’t care what the haters say. I thought it was pretty faithful to the comics with just enough tweaking to make it work as a movie.

Worst Movie: Captain America: The First Avenger. Like I said in my review it was the best Captain America movie ever made but they didn’t have to try really hard to do that. I expected more from a cast that included Hugo Weaving and Tommy Lee Jones.

Best Album: Dystopia by Iced Earth. Without Matt Barlow, at vocals, I was really worried about this album but Stu Block is more than a worthy successor to the Iced Earth vocal crown.

Worst Album: Cold Wind on Timeless Days by Charred Walls of the Damned. The problem with CWOTD is that while I can identify a song as being theirs, 9 times out of 10 I can’t identify which song it is. That’s a shame really because Tim ‘Ripper’ Owens is one of the great metal vocalists of all time.

Best TV Show: I couldn’t narrow it down to one so I have shows in different genres. In the reality show genre, it’s Sons of Guns. I like the fact that they actually acknowledge that they are on a TV show. In the sitcom category, it’s 2 Broke Girls. I thought this show was going to be a bad Odd Couple rip off but it has turned out to be a fun and funny politically incorrect romp. In the animation department, it’s Young Justice. The writing animation is top-notch. Best animated superhero series since Justice League.

Worst TV Show: Deception with Keith Barry. For like the blink of an eye Discovery had this show on about Keith Barry who claims to be a mentalist. Discovery is supposed to be about science and facts but what this guy was slinging was not only pseudoscience, in my opinion, but had also been disproven by several episodes of Mythbusters.

Best Comic: Without question, it was the new run on Daredevil. I read someone on the web that said that this is the greatest run on the character since Frank Miller and I would have to agree. Not only that but I am a hardcore DC Comics loyalist so when I say a Marvel title is good you can count on it.

Worst Comic: Spider Island. So everyone in Manhattan gets Spider-Man’s powers. Possibly the worst storyline ever.

Best Video Game: Yes, I brought this category and my gaming career out of retirement just for this game. Batman: Arkham City. My only regret is that you can’t roam the city with Nightwing or Robin.

Worst Video Game: WWE ’12. For this game to be even remotely entertaining I had to turn all the difficulties down to what I like to call window-licker mode.

Dumbass of 2011: Dana Redd, Mayor of Camden, NJ. The country’s #2 most dangerous city is probably the most mismanaged city in the country. You can’t lay off half the police force and then have the other half writing tickets instead of stopping real crime. It’s time to flatten Camden and start over.

Most Inane Political Agenda of 2011: There was not even any competition on this one. It has to go to the #Occupiers. They want the disparity between rich and poor to be lessened but don’t want to do any real work to achieve that goal. I could go on for days about this.

Biggest Jackass Celebrity of 2011: Peter Jackson. Yes, Lord of the Rings director Peter Jackson. His devotion to convicted child killer Damien Echols is almost fanatical in scope. Not only did he pay to have Echols come to his native New Zealand and had the New Zealand Government waive a restriction that keeps murderers out of their country, but he also directed a West Memphis 3 ‘documentary’ that Echols produced and they both got matching tattoos.

As always don’t be a statistic tonight and hopefully we’ll do this in another 366 days.

The 2010 Trenchie Awards

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Once again it’s time for the 10th annual blog post that my wife likes the most, the 2010 Trenchie Awards.

Best Movie: Shutter Island. Sorry folks but I liked this movie. If you were one of those people who figured out the ending before the end of the movie I feel sorry for you. One of the greatest joys to me is being truly surprised by the ending of a good movie. I’m not a DiCaprio fan but I liked him in this. I didn’t see Inception.

Worst Movie: Iron Man 2. The acting was great, the cast was great, the effects were great, the writing just wasn’t there and I felt the ending was a little more than anticlimactic.

Best Album: 2010 was a great year in music for me. There were great releases by such bands as Fozzy, Overkill, Charred Walls of the Damned, and Stone Sour. However I’m going to bend the rules a little bit here because for the best album for 2010 was actually an album that came out in 2009. Jade and I attended a concert back in the fall that was opened by a band called Halestorm. I’ve been in love with the band ever since. Fronted by Lzzy Hale their self titled album is just pure raw rock at its best. A woman hasn’t rocked this hard since Joan Jett. Bands like Lacuna Coil, Flyleaf and Evanescence wish they could be half as talented and not over produced. And the great part is they’re even better live than they are in studio.

Worst Album: It seems they keep winning this category every year that they release a new album. The Final Frontier by Iron Maiden. I’ve loved Maiden since I was a kid. I saw them several times in concert back in the day but again they haven’t put out a decent studio album since 2000’s Brave New World.

Best TV Show: AMC’s The Walking Dead. Again the job of a good TV show is to keep my interest in tuning in again next week and The Walking Dead did just that. I think the fact that it only had a 6 episode season was a good thing too. No dragging shit out forever.

Worst TV Show: Top Gear America on History. Look, it’s not a bad show. I actually enjoy it but it’s Top Gear for people who have never seen the real Top Gear. It’s Top Gear Light.

Best Comic: Hey kids a new category. Since I started reading comics again I thought it was only natural. Anyway in 2010 I really enjoyed the Batman titles with Dick Grayson as Batman while Bruce Wayne was lost in time. Not a big fan of Bruce Wayne being lost in time though.

Worst Comic: Deadpool MAX. I get it. Deadpool is a goofy character and all but my problem wasn’t with Deadpool as much as it was with the supporting characters. It seems the writers had too much fun putting in gags about poop and sodomy. It was like a Kevin Smith fanboy tried to write a comic like Kevin Smith.

Dumbasses of 2010: Everybody who boycotted their local BP station. The only thing you were doing was taking the money way from a local business in a tough economy.

Most Inane Political Agenda of 2010: This is a two patrter. Not only does it go to the people who started the ‘Pray for Obama’s death’ Facebook page but also for the people who were outraged that probably wouldn’t have batted an eyelash if there was a pray for George W. Bush’s death Facebook group.

Biggest Jackass Celebrity of 2010: As much as I don’t want to recognize that their celebrities I have to go with the cast of Jersey Shore. I take umbrage to this program because I grew up on the South Jersey Shore, or as we call it…the beach. Only tourists call it ‘the shore’. And these assclowns and hambeasts aren’t even from New Jersey. They’re Bennies from New York.

That’s it for 2010. Don’t be a statistic on Amateur Night II and hopefully we’ll do this again next year for the 11th time.

The 2009 Trenchie Awards

For the 9th year in a row it’s my wife’s favorite feature of the site, the 2009 Trenchie Awards.

Best Movie: Taken with Liam Neeson. Actually saw this one in the theater with the lovely and talented Mrs. Trench. Liam Neeson hasn’t kicked this much ass since Darkman. The only thing wrong with it that it was PG-13. If this had been an R it would have been the prefect movie.

Worst Movie: Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li. The original Street Fighter was better. Dishonorable Mention goes to Watchmen for the fact there was no smoking in the movie while smoking played an integral role in the comic.

Best Album: This was a tough one but the nod goes to The Devil You Know by Heaven and Hell aka the Dio era Black Sabbath. Narrowly getting beat out was Endgame by Megadeth.

Worst Album: Play My Game by Tim Ripper Owens. I love Ripper but this album was not anywhere near as good as the Beyond Fear album from a few years ago.

Best TV Show: Batman: The Brave and the Bold. I am a sucker for super hero cartoons and this one didn’t disappoint. I like how they mixed the mythos of the different eras of Batman. Not to mention it did something that no one has ever done before. It made Aquaman interesting. Honorable mentions go to How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory, and Mythbusters.

Worst TV Show: All the dumbass ‘ghost’ and psychic shows that seem to be polluting the airwaves. When Animal Planet even has their own haunted show you know the genre is oversaturated. Not to mention they’re lowering the collective IQ of their audiences.

Dumbasses of 2009: The Teabaggers. To call their little circle jerks Tea Parties lessens the impact of the original Tea Party.

Most Inane Political Agenda of 2009: The Birthers. Obama was born in Hawaii, a U.S. state. You people are just as bad as the people who wanted to see Bush’s National Guard records. You lost the election. Get over it.

Biggest Jackass Celebrity of 2009: Jesse Ventura. He used to be cool. Now he’s just desperate for attention with his idiotic conspiracy show. Occam’s Razor people.

Don’t become a statistic tonight and we’ll do this again next year.